


Petals Falling off a Rose

by Ruki44



Category: Digimon Tamers
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, One-Sided Attraction, Realization, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8217127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruki44/pseuds/Ruki44
Summary: Sometimes falling in love is hard. Falling in love with your best friend when they have (returned) feelings for someone else is even harder. Ruki learns this the hard way, struggling to quantify her feelings in a way she can understand.





	1. Anemone

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to write this, but then Crazyeight encouraged me to. So surprise, I guess.

“Takato-kun, if you don’t pay attention, you are going to have to retake the test again.”

“Ah, right, sorry Kato-san. I was just - uhm, uh, nevermind. So, uhm, what were you saying?”

“You’re impossible. Ruki-chan, can you help me out here?”

Ruki’s head snapped upward from the manga she was flipping through, glancing to where two of her friends sat next to a small wooden table where books and papers were spread out in Juri’s house. It was supposed to be a group study session, but Hirokazu and Kenta were off at the Digimon Tournament with Ryou this week, and Jian ditched them to look after his kid sister, leaving her to be the third wheel -  _ again _ \- for Juri and Takato’s irritable flirting. Even though she had graduated from the Digimon card game, perhaps it would have been better to step out of retirement instead of sitting in this oppressive atmosphere only she seemed to be privy too.

_ I have to be some sort of masochist _ , she grumbled mentally, carefully closing the book and scooting closer to the table, all her hard work to subtly flee from the two all for naught.

“Let me see what’s the problem this time,” Ruki demanded, and Takato spun the paper around, numbers scrawled across the page. Just by looking at it, she could see where the boy went wrong, and picking up a pen, she circled a section.

“When solving problems, you need to multiply factors and group like terms. So in the equation 5(-3x - 2) - (x - 3) = -4(4x + 5) + 13, you need to multiply five times negative three x, then five times two. Since there is no number in front of x minus three, you can assume that’s a one. Then for the other side you have negative four multiplied by four  and negative four by five,” she explained, launching into lecture mode. “So when you multiply everything together, you get -15x - 10 - x + 3 = -16x - 20 +13. After that you group like terms. So negative fifteen x minus x and ten plus three on one side, and negative twenty plus thirteen on the other, so you get-”

She quickly jotted down -16x - 7 = -16x - 7.

“That. Then you add sixteen x plus seven to both sides and get 0=0.”

Turning it around, she pushed the paper back toward Takato.

“Simple.”

However, when Takato’s eyes, which were watching her jot down the problem, rose to meet hers, she could tell by the glazed look nothing she said sunk in. The grip on her pen tightened, before relaxing again, and she took a deep breath before releasing it like Jian suggested whenever irritability clawed at her.

“What don’t you understand?” she asked with a sigh.

“How is that the answer? Aren’t I trying to solve for x?” he asked blankly, and Ruki pinched the bridge of her nose, violet eyes rising to meet the amber ones of the  _ other _ brunette sitting across the table, who responded in kind with a helpless shrug.

“Takato, read the question out loud to me.”

“Uhm?” Takato tilted his head slightly, but pulled his book closer to him. “Solve the equation. 5(-3x - 2) - (x - 3) = -4(4x + 5) + 13. But what does that-”

“Where does it say solve for x?” she cut in, causing the crimson-eyed boy to fall silent and look back at his book.

“Oh,” he said softly, realization finally sinking in, a blush beginning to spread across his cheeks. Ruki knew enough to recognize it wasn’t the same sort which happened whenever he talked to the other girl; sometimes she felt it a miracle his face wasn’t perpetually the same color of his eyes whenever he interacted for any period of time with Juri.

Despite being best friends, Ruki and Takato just weren’t that close - not like how Juri and Takato were. Sometimes, on her not so better days, her stomach would twist and turn and she could barely stand being in the same room as the both of them despite adoring both of them.

“Ruki-chan to the rescue, as always,” Juri giggled, Takato groaning in his hands.

“I’m going to fail again,” he bemoaned, causing Juri to reach out and gently put her hand on his shoulder and gently squeeze it, giving him a soft sort of smile Ruki noticed she only gave to him and nobody else.

It was then she realized it was going to be one of  _ those _ days.

“Learn to read, and you’ll do a lot better,” she said, pulling out her phone, glancing at the time. “Anyway, I’ll leave you two alone. I have some errands to run.”

A lie, although she supposed she could surprise grandma by doing the grocery shopping. It was better than sitting in that empty house, which at the moment was only marginally better than being in  _ here _ .

“So soon?” Juri asked, the smile which was on her lips, dripping down into a frown.

“Sorry,” Ruki apologized - another lie - standing up. “Good luck on your test, Takato.”

“Thanks, Ruki,” Takato mumbled, his face still red, his eyes darting between her and the hand on his shoulder. Part of her wanted to give him a good smack and tell their former leader to kiss Juri already. Even to her, who struggled following the jumbled up thread of her own emotions, could tell the connection he had with Juri was returned in kind.

Yet a spiteful side, one she didn’t quite understand the root of, kept her mouth firmly shut. So instead of saying anything, she gave a lazy wave and walked out the door. 


	2. Freesia

“Hello, Judas.”

“It seems I have done wrong by her highness,” Jian remarked, sliding in the chair across from Ruki, pushing a glass across the table until it rested in front of her. “Luckily for me, I come bearing gifts.”

“Hm, your tribute does please me,” Ruki replied, ripping open the paper protecting her straw and dipping it into her bribe - a chocolate milkshake at the small sweet shop which opened a year after the D-Reaper, but they didn't find until last month.

“So, what did I do?” Jian asked, dipping his spoon into his parfait, digging around for the strawberry which had dipped down into the cave of the glass.

“You could have texted me the other day to let me know you wouldn't be at the study session,” she responded, scowling ever so slightly, the memory once again bubbling to the surface. Once more she was in that room where the walls seemed to close in on her, pushing her closer to the two lovebirds despite her attempts to get away.

“I'm sorry?” Jian asked raising his eyebrow slightly. “Did something happen?”

“It was just me with Juri and Takato. It was the Digimon card tournament that day, remember?” she told him, stirring the thick ice cream before slurping at it again, causing the half Chinese boy to wrinkle his nose.

“Can't you use a spoon?”

“No.”

“Of course. Anyway sorry about that,” he apologized, understanding without Ruki needing to explain why she was upset. Juri and Takato’s feelings were obvious to everyone but Takato it seemed, and nobody liked being stuck with them alone; it was like you were interrupting something that only you were aware of.

“Well since you  _ did _ bribe me, I suppose I’ll forgive you,” she told him, giving a mock haughty little sniff, causing Jian to laugh. A grin spread across her own face, and using her straw like a makeshift spoon, she brought a glob of ice cream to her lips.

She wished her relationship with Takato and Juri was like her relationship with Jian; uncomplicated. She couldn’t help but wonder when those days where things were simpler went.

Except things never were simple, were they?

They didn’t exactly meet under the most ideal circumstances - her first hello to Takato was ordering Renamon to kill Guilmon, which Jian needed to break up. A mediator position he sometimes needed to fulfill to this very day, although the main focus of her ire was Ryou and Hirokazu now.

Her introduction to Juri on the other hand was after defeating Sandiramon in the subway tunnel, and they didn’t exactly  _ talk _ until a few weeks afterwards. Out of all her friends, it was the least contentious start, but it wasn’t exactly able to grow under ideal circumstances. It was one more built under the unforgiving sky of the Digital World.

So what had changed?

Pulling at the thread, she only entangled herself more.


	3. Statice

_ “Juri, you  _ know  _ I’m not into this magical girl sort of stuff,” Ruki sighed, looking down at the smaller girl who was holding up a boxed DVD set of some show called  _ Puella Magi Madoka Magica  _ her amber eyes meeting Ruki’s own amherst ones. At that, Juri’s bottom lip wibbled ever so slightly, as if she were about to cry. _

_ Ruki’s heart clenched at the expression on Juri’s face. She didn’t know why exactly - she  _ knew _ the brunette wasn’t actually going to cry. It wasn’t going to have any lasting impact on her psyche, nor would this be any sort of shock considering Ruki had made it quite clear before of her likes and interests. _

_ Yet as those amber eyes dropped, and Juri’s shoulders wilted, Ruki felt her will to say no degrading as well. It was a mere disappointment, but Ruki didn’t want to be the one to inflict such a thing on her. She was a lot more honest now about her emotions, but Ruki now could see when the sun wasn’t truly shining. _

_ “...Tch. Well, it’s not like I feel like looking for something else,” she grumbled, and with that the clouds cleared up and the sun shone brightly - just for her. _

_ “Yay!” Juri squealed happily, throwing her arms around Ruki’s shoulders despite the taller redhead not quite being an affectionate person. Yet she made exceptions for a select number of people, mama and Juri taking the most advantage of it. Abused the privilege really. “I love you, Ruki-chan! You’re the best!” _

_ “Mn.” _

Even though those words left Juri’s words hours ago now, the words bounced around Ruki’s head. She didn’t know why exactly, but they bothered her. It was like the brunette said them too lightly or perhaps she was taking them too seriously?

Before the Digimon, before her life changed in many ways, it wasn’t like anybody beyond mama and grandma said those three words to her. Then again, it wasn’t like anyone really was willing to put up with her either. For whatever reason, Takato was able to push through her attitude and no matter how much she tried to push him away, he kept coming for her. Reaching. Seemed to see something better in her that even now she couldn’t quite grasp what he gleamed.

Nobody had ever tried that hard for her before. It bothered her. It interested her.

Was this the same thing?

_ I don’t understand _ .

Juri didn’t push to reach her. Instead she pulled her along at her own pace. Didn’t seem to care Ruki wasn’t really into dresses or shoujo anime and manga. That she didn’t like dressing up or have any real interest in electronics.

Ruki, in the past, would spend no time even considering amusing such considerations. Yet with Juri, she always hesitated, always seemed to give in. Allowed to drag her around, marching to a drumbeat only Juri seemed to hear. And though Ruki would never admit, she was captivated with what Juri showed her.

The simple sundress with shorts underneath which seemed to match her sense of style - no frills and a simple blue which matched her D-arc. Even Ruki agreed, however mutely, she looked  _ pretty _ in it. Nor did she expect for Juri to be interested in “jailbreaking” things, expecting that to be more of Jian’s area of expertise. Yet when Juri showed her, she left out all the boring stuff Jian seemed to obsess over - “ _ The devil is in the details Ruki.” -  _ and jumped right to the cool stuff.

Even now, Ruki had to admit the anime was  _ much _ darker than she originally expected it to be, and found herself rather enjoying it. She related and emphasized with the characters in a way she never thought possible for a magical girl anime.

No, Juri didn’t seem to care about what Ruki’s interests were, yet seemed to take them into account anyway. And even though Ruki never said once Juri managed to captivate her interest in areas she didn’t expect were possible, the brunette just seemed to  _ know _ .

A fact which was proven by Juri smiling smugly, snuggled up to Ruki on the couch, almost like she was silently gloating. Every so often she would glance up at her, not saying a thing, but the amber eyes simply  _ knowing _ .

It bothered her. It interested her.

_ I don’t understand _ .


	4. Hydrangea

“How about this bracelet?”

Ruki tried to bite back a groan. She really did. It escaped anyway, and Takato wilted slightly like a flower in the frost.

“No good?” he asked, looking down at the small Sterling silver chain threaded through his fingers. It wasn't anything fancy or expensive, but it was cute and probably something Juri would like - especially from her favorite knight.

“Takato,  _ why _ are you asking me?” Ruki asked, dragging a hand across her face. The three Tamers were shopping for birthday presents for Juri - well Jian would be joining them after his martial arts lessons - but so far it consisted completely of Takato second guessing himself on every  _ single  _ thing and asking for her opinion. It was OK the first couple of times, but by the fourth or fifth, and the  _ constant _ waffling, she was ready to strangle him.

“Well, why wouldn't I?” The crimson eyed boy replied putting the bracelet carefully back. “You're her best friend.”

“So are you,  _ and  _ you've known her longer,” Ruki pointed out, picking up some stuffed animal - some sort of mascot of one of those children's anime Juri seemed obsessed with - wondering if the girl would like this.

A stupid question.

The real one was that she wasn't sure if she wanted to give it to her. She wanted to give Juri something special, and felt like she was being roped into being Takato's “wingman” in wooing the brunette when she wanted nothing to do with such a position.

“I guess,” the Goggleheaded boy mumbled, looking at earrings now. “I just want to get her something  _ special _ , you know?”

“Just get her a ring and be done with it already,” Ruki shot back, rolling her eyes, the irritation clawing at her insides now. She just wished the two would get together already. Watching their pining and flirting felt like she was being stabbed each and every time, and it was getting worse lately.

The way their heads bumped together. The way they laughed. They way the smiled and the small little touches, lingering a bit too long.

She hated watching every single one of them, the sword twisting and turning as she was forced to pretend it didn’t bother her. Her palm was beginning to become bruised from her fingernails digging into the flesh over and over again.

Before it only used to be when she was alone together with them. Now, just being alone with  _ one _ of them made her feel like shit because it was clear all the thought about was the other, even when they were with her. Conversations would eventually meander toward whoever wasn’t present, and it was like being told she just wasn’t as important. 

She didn’t doubt their friendship, nor the fact they cared about her. However, it was obvious she would never would have that same level of affection and  _ understanding _ they shared with each other, and honestly, that’s what stung the most.

She wanted that sort of relationship, that sort of adoration. With Renamon gone, so was the last person who understood her.

“A ring?” Takato asked flabbergasted, and she felt like shaking him. Slapping him too maybe. How could one person be so slow? A slow blush started to cross his cheeks, and he looked down and began to fidget, pulling at the thread of his shirt. “But it’s, ah, not like that. I mean what if she gets the wrong idea? I mean I don’t want to make things awk-”

“Do you  _ listen _ to yourself talk?” she demanded, finally snapping, unable to take it anymore. “Wrong idea? What wrong idea! That you like her? You’re in love with her? Or is it you don’t want to get her hopes up that you’ll actually ask her out? I’ve been watching you two pine over each other for the past four years and one would  _ think _ one of you two would make a move but  _ no _ oo _. _ ”

“Ruki, I-” Takato started, reaching out to her, but right now she didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say. Pushing the hand away, she marched out of the store, growling, “figure it out for yourself” as she passed him. He could hear her call after her, but Ruki ignored him, guilt, loneliness and anger swelling in a storm inside her chest.

She didn’t stop walking until she found herself at the park. It was only then, gasping for air, did she realize somewhere along the way she had started running. Kicking a nearby tree in frustration, she threw herself on the steps, glowering at anyone who dared to give her an odd look as they passed her by.

_ What’s wrong with me?  _ She thought, burying her face in her hands, wishing she could melt into the concrete or simply disappear on the wind. For the first time since her father left, she felt an overwhelming sense of nausea even though she hadn’t eaten anything funky.

Feeling something run down her cheek, she tilted her head back to look up at the sky.

“Ah, it’s raining,” she mumbled, staring at the cloudless heavens.  


End file.
